fucked up recs

originally posted as a book rec list on july 5, 2023, and continually updated.

my definition of "fucked up" is pretty liberal. some of these might actually be fairly tame as far as adult fiction goes, but my cartoon-watching ass is here going "is that allowed????? holy shit (positive)"

recommended pre-reading: my flavor profile, for a glimpse of the stuff i find fucked up in a horny way.

books

age gap (the bad flavor)

these stories have an adult/minor relationship that is sexual or romantic in nature. some are written as sexier or more provocative than others, while others depict the abuse and horrific aspects of this sort of relationship more realistically. all are enjoyable reads.

the ones i liked most are marked with a star.

— ALL THE UGLY AND WONDERFUL THINGS by bryn greenwood

adult man / preteen girl, multiple POV
super tender, almost wholesome romance between a little girl and a sweet ex-con who works for her drug dealer dad.
was surprised at how sweet it was. they are so in love

— TAMPA by alissa nutting 🌟

adult woman / teenage boy, woman's POV
this woman gets a job teaching middle school because she wants to fuck adolescent boys. and she DOES!
this book is Not shy about the smut or the character's singleminded, destructive pursuit of teenboys - simultaneously really indulgent (positive, horny) and unsettling

— THE READER by bernhard schlink

adult woman / teenage boy, boy's POV
prob the most popular of these books, since it's also a movie. set in postwar germany so heads up for horrors of war as a main theme!
but there's a lot of focus on the boy and the woman too - they're complicated and mostly have sex more than bond emotionally, but have some cute moments in part one. not very sexy in part two, but very good.

— MY DARK VANESSA by kate elizabeth russell 🌟

adult man / teenage girl, girl's POV
good ol' student/teacher. a gutting read! switches time period between when vanessa is in school (being groomed by her english teacher) and when she's an adult (does not think she was groomed).
pretty intense!! i couldn't put it down. one of my faves.

— THE NOTEBOOK by agota kristof

there are two separate instances where an adult man and an adult woman get involved with the young male twin protagonists; twins' POV
horrors of war again. the sexual encounters are brief - a chapter each - but i just really like the protags, who are these stoic and uncannily in-sync twin shotas.
super quick read - it's the first in a series but can be read as a standalone (which i did)

— INNOCENTS by cathy coote

adult man / teenage girl, girl's POV
manipulative younger female student x creepy cringefail teacher
reads like a long love letter, detailing the girl's relationship with her teacher over time

— NAOMI by junichiro tanizaki

adult man / teenage girl, man's POV
set in japan at the turn of westernization/modernization. joji (the narrator) literally adopts naomi to make her his ideal woman. shenanigans ensue as naomi becomes her own person

— COLD NEW CLIMATE by isobel wohl

older woman / younger man, woman's POV. no underage, but the age gap and taboo makes it belong here!
she's with his father at first (formerly her professor, for extra spice) and after they break up she reconnects with his son, who is 19
kind of a curveball of an ending, but the writing and the protagonist's bojack-level disastrous decision making make it a worthwhile read

— YOU DESERVE NOTHING by alexander maksik

adult man / teenage girl, multiple POV
another in the student/teacher installment. both are narrators at certain parts of the book, and them fucking is not the focus of the entire thing, but still it deserves to be here.
i like that the teacher is well-respected for being unconventional, and so he goes and does this lollll

— LOLITA by vladimir nabokov 🌟

adult man / preteen girl, man's POV
the og. what can i even say? wonderfully written, horrifying, enthralling.

INSIDE MADELEINE by paula bomer

ryona: the book. makes you want to smoke and drink at the same time
starts off really bitesized, with popcorn sized nastiness, but the stories get longer and nastier. the last story (the titular novella) is particularly brutal… this is a Nothing Good Happens To Women book

THE PATRICK MELROSE NOVELS by edward st. aubyn

sad, fucked up little boy grows to become a sad, fucked up little man. delicious.

movies

i don't have a ton of these, but i thought i'd start a section for movies that i feel were written for my psychosexual tastes. some relevant tags attached.

— PHANTOM THREAD (2017) 🌟: dysfunctionally functional, age difference, subjugation and obedience as devotion

— CHALLENGERS (2024) 🌟: hand in unlovable hand, the eroticism of tennis, "i take such good care of my little white boys"

on my to-watch list:

may december (2023)
the cement garden (1993)